It has been just two weeks since the death of my brother, David. And last evening we
lost another brother, Clyde. He was rushed from the nursing home, where he had been trying to recuperate from a total hip replacement, to the emergency room at St. John's Hospital. He was fighting several post-op complications, and a severe infection was the cause of his death. The folks at St. John's surely did all they could possibly do to save him, but they lost the battle.
He had suffered many things over the last few years: prostate cancer, a shattered shoulder, cancer of the mouth, and then fell and broke his hip five weeks ago. I think he was exhausted from fighting the pain. On Wednesday when we visited, the nurse was with him. When she was ready to leave she asked Clyde if there was anything else he wanted. He right away answered,
"Released." Well, he has his release. No more pain. And that is good.
We will surely miss this sweet brother. Two weeks ago I wrote that David was the brother who was my buddy and playmate. Well, Clyde was my "hero" brother. He was seven years older, so that when I was a little girl, he was the hero of a big brother that I looked up to. Janie told me last night that Clyde told a story about his little sister. I don't remember this event. I must have been very young. Clyde said that I told him that I was "always going to keep him." He was then, and always has been a keeper.
I don't know, but maybe the announcement was prompted by some teasing by the other brothers. He may have been the only one I thought worth keeping at that moment. Clyde was always the kind one, the sweet one. The one you could depend on. He was the only blonde haired child in the family, and our very ornery oldest brother, Jack, always tried to convince Clyde that he was the adopted one. But Clyde was very much like our mother's family, especially his Uncle Clyde for whom he was named.
So what qualified him as a hero in my heart? Well, he was handsome. And he was smart, a very good student. He made excellent grades in school. He wrote wonderful stories. He has always had a quiet, dry sense of humor. You had to really listen to catch the essence of his wit. In my eyes as a young girl, Clyde accomplished great deeds. He was a class officer, he sang in the choral club. In college he was part of a quartet that sang on television. He was a good athlete. I remember the walls of his bedroom being covered with ribbons he won for high jump and hurdles.
His most heroic moment was being part of the Anderson High School State champion basketball team in 1946. Our whole family was able to attend all the tournament games. Now Clyde only played a half minute or so at the end of the championship game. He wasn't one of the starting seniors. But I was so excited and proud. I told everyone around me that he was my brother.
Clyde earned a scholarship to Butler University, something no one else in our family ever did. He did well in college, and came home every summer to work jobs that helped him go back to school the next year. He met and married the cutest girl at Butler, and they have been married for 55 years. He served our country in the military after graduation, earning the rank of First Lieutenant. He spent a year
on an atoll, Eniwetok, in the South Pacific, helping to clean up after A bomb tests.
He went to IU law school and became an attorney with the government small business administration. And he helped guide all of us when there were family issues that needed a clear head to make wise decisions.
I think he deserves the hero status that his little sister always granted him. I think I always told him he was my favorite brother. I think I told all four of them that. But I may have meant it just a tiny bit more with brother Clyde. I will miss his sweet smile.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
T3 - Turbulent Tuesday
Today was a strange day, to say the least. It started at 4:30 am with the weather radio sounding its alarm. It said that a storm system would be passing through central Indiana if a short time, with possible tornados and/or winds up to 60 mph.
Well, that sounded like fun, and, since we hate to ride out these storms in a mobile home, I decided to get dressed in case we needed to flee to the safety of the hospital basement where we usually go for safety during storms.
So, I quickly dressed, and then, just as quickly, hopped right back into bed and went to sleep immediately. So, when I awoke at the usual time, I was quite surprised to find myself fully clothed. Then Don and I spent breakfast and morning paper time monitoring the TV weather news. Randy Hollis and his buddies were having a high ol' time telling about the storm chaos in Illinois, and the line of storms all along the western border of Indiana, and how fast they were moving our way. You know, those weather guys and gals just live for these exciting days.
However, photos assured us that this was indeed going to be a rather active storm day. And I was scheduled to attend a breakfast planning team meeting for Christian Women's Club at nine, and then be picked up by my dear old friend, Elva Mae, to go for lunch. What to do, what to do? The projections seemed to say that the storm might hit Anderson between nine and nine thirty, right when the breakfast meeting would be happening on the West side of Perkins Restaurant in their all glass porch!
Not a place I wanted to be with 60 mph winds coming out of the west! Since I play a very small unimportant part with the planning team (breakfast eater, observer, friendly, unimportant chatterer), I decided to skip that meeting. Elva Mae and I touched base by phone at eight. She was heading for bible study in the basement of her church (sounded safe enough). We decided that Don and I would head to St. Johns Hospital if the storm sirens sounded, and then, if the weather emergency was over, I would ride with him to Hoosier Park. Then Elva Mae would meet me there for the buffet lunch. There we all could drive to the covered entrance and benefit from valet parking.
Guess what! It all worked just like clock work. The storm began to blow about nine.
We headed to St. Johns and had coffee and such in the basement cafeteria. We watched the weather Tv in the lounge. The sirens sounded shortly after we arrived.
The storm blew in - really BLEW in. We were snug and safe there. Elva Mae was snug and safe at church. The weather alert ended. We all drove through moderate rain and wet streets to Hoosier Park. Don went to his own entertainment down stairs. Elva and I had a wonderful lunch and caught up on the news in our lives. Then she took off for home, I found Don, and we left a bit later. When we left Hoosier Park the sun was shining, and it couldn't have been a more beautiful day.
Turbulent Tuesday turned out to be just fine.
Post Script: There was quite a bit of storm damage in the state - some just south of us in Greemfield and about, some west in Lebanon and surrounds, and some just north around Kokomo. This has been the weather pattern all summer, rain goes south and north of us, and just skips Anderson. Today we received the rain, but thank God, skipped the storm damage.
Well, that sounded like fun, and, since we hate to ride out these storms in a mobile home, I decided to get dressed in case we needed to flee to the safety of the hospital basement where we usually go for safety during storms.
So, I quickly dressed, and then, just as quickly, hopped right back into bed and went to sleep immediately. So, when I awoke at the usual time, I was quite surprised to find myself fully clothed. Then Don and I spent breakfast and morning paper time monitoring the TV weather news. Randy Hollis and his buddies were having a high ol' time telling about the storm chaos in Illinois, and the line of storms all along the western border of Indiana, and how fast they were moving our way. You know, those weather guys and gals just live for these exciting days.
However, photos assured us that this was indeed going to be a rather active storm day. And I was scheduled to attend a breakfast planning team meeting for Christian Women's Club at nine, and then be picked up by my dear old friend, Elva Mae, to go for lunch. What to do, what to do? The projections seemed to say that the storm might hit Anderson between nine and nine thirty, right when the breakfast meeting would be happening on the West side of Perkins Restaurant in their all glass porch!
Not a place I wanted to be with 60 mph winds coming out of the west! Since I play a very small unimportant part with the planning team (breakfast eater, observer, friendly, unimportant chatterer), I decided to skip that meeting. Elva Mae and I touched base by phone at eight. She was heading for bible study in the basement of her church (sounded safe enough). We decided that Don and I would head to St. Johns Hospital if the storm sirens sounded, and then, if the weather emergency was over, I would ride with him to Hoosier Park. Then Elva Mae would meet me there for the buffet lunch. There we all could drive to the covered entrance and benefit from valet parking.
Guess what! It all worked just like clock work. The storm began to blow about nine.
We headed to St. Johns and had coffee and such in the basement cafeteria. We watched the weather Tv in the lounge. The sirens sounded shortly after we arrived.
The storm blew in - really BLEW in. We were snug and safe there. Elva Mae was snug and safe at church. The weather alert ended. We all drove through moderate rain and wet streets to Hoosier Park. Don went to his own entertainment down stairs. Elva and I had a wonderful lunch and caught up on the news in our lives. Then she took off for home, I found Don, and we left a bit later. When we left Hoosier Park the sun was shining, and it couldn't have been a more beautiful day.
Turbulent Tuesday turned out to be just fine.
Post Script: There was quite a bit of storm damage in the state - some just south of us in Greemfield and about, some west in Lebanon and surrounds, and some just north around Kokomo. This has been the weather pattern all summer, rain goes south and north of us, and just skips Anderson. Today we received the rain, but thank God, skipped the storm damage.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
S3 Some Thoughts in Response to Reading
I am presently reading the third book by author Marlena de Blasi. After reading her first book, "A Thousand Days in Venice," I ordered the rest of her books from my favorite on-line book store, Alibris.
Marlena is an American, educated in New York who was a journalistic, food critic, chef, and cook book author. She was often sent to Europe to sample and critique different cuisines. On one trip to Venice in the 1990's she has a chance meeting on the street with a Venetian banker. He pursues her, woos her, and after she returns to home in the USA, he comes for an extended visit. Now, these two are not children.
She is the divorced mother of two grown children. He is a middle-aged Italian who has never been married. But they do fall in love, he proposes, and she sells all and goes to live in Venice.
Her first book tells about her settling in his tiny,bare apartment in Venice, and her adjustments to life in Venice. Her second book, "A Thousand Days in Tuscany," tells how the couple sells the apartment and moves to a renovated stable that has been turned into a very basic home. It is located in the countryside outside a small Tuscan village. The third book, that I am presently reading, tells about their decision to uproot again and move to Umbria.
Each move has its frustrations, hardships, loneliness, and eventual settling in and making close friends. But most of all the books are delicious descriptions of love -
love of two middle-aged folks, love of Italy, the love of discovering a new culture, and the love of food!
Other cultures have such a different approach to life's necessities. It makes me sad that I have such an American approach to food. I really don't cook. We eat out, carry in, or use all the shortcut, prepackaged, precooked, frozen foods that we can find. It is true that I always worked, always took care of others, never had much time to think about meals, and never learned to cook at my mother's side. But
I am ashamed to say that for us eating has always been the shorter, the quicker, the better.
It is fascinating to read how Marlena and Fernando manage to make friends with the cooks, the farmers, the food providers that lead them to learn all about the local cuisines. In Italy they cook what is fresh THAT DAY. Marlena learns to shop at the local farmers' markets, becomes acquainted with the sellers, learns their secrets of cooking. She helps to gather wild herbs, mushrooms. She learns how and helps with the olive harvest. She witnesses the pressing of the oil. She learns how and helps with the grape harvest, and learns about wine making.
In Tuscany they become very close friends with the local villagers - especially Barlozzo and Floriana. He helps them constuct an outdoor baking oven, and an outdoor fire pit and grill. They initiate Friday night village suppers at the local bar, where all the villagers share a supper dish. In all their cooking in Italy every one eats what is ripe and harvested that day. They hunt or raise their own animals for meat. They rely on fresh herbs, wild onions, wild garlic, and lots of olive oil for their flavors. They make their own cheese, and bake their own bread.
It all sounds delightfully delicious.
One farmer at the market tells her that "The earth is rich so we don't have to be."
If you have enough to eat for today, you are rich. If there is some left for tomorrow you may have too many riches." Another tells her, "The less there is, the more important it all becomes." They feel rich having just enough of life's necessities to get them through each day.
I think that our American culture may have it all wrong. Our dependence on industry, labor, high salaries, government care, and all the need for immediate gratification has led us to live lives that are truly less rich. At the same time I am reading these rich books, I also run across the "Amish Cook" column that appears regularly in our local newspaper. The Amish wife and mother who writes the column tells about how the whole family helps raise the food on their farm. She tells how they are all involved in the canning and preserving, the daily washing of clothes, and hanging them outdoors to dry. She talks about how their farms are self-sustaining. I think maybe the Amish have it right, after all.
Marlena is an American, educated in New York who was a journalistic, food critic, chef, and cook book author. She was often sent to Europe to sample and critique different cuisines. On one trip to Venice in the 1990's she has a chance meeting on the street with a Venetian banker. He pursues her, woos her, and after she returns to home in the USA, he comes for an extended visit. Now, these two are not children.
She is the divorced mother of two grown children. He is a middle-aged Italian who has never been married. But they do fall in love, he proposes, and she sells all and goes to live in Venice.
Her first book tells about her settling in his tiny,bare apartment in Venice, and her adjustments to life in Venice. Her second book, "A Thousand Days in Tuscany," tells how the couple sells the apartment and moves to a renovated stable that has been turned into a very basic home. It is located in the countryside outside a small Tuscan village. The third book, that I am presently reading, tells about their decision to uproot again and move to Umbria.
Each move has its frustrations, hardships, loneliness, and eventual settling in and making close friends. But most of all the books are delicious descriptions of love -
love of two middle-aged folks, love of Italy, the love of discovering a new culture, and the love of food!
Other cultures have such a different approach to life's necessities. It makes me sad that I have such an American approach to food. I really don't cook. We eat out, carry in, or use all the shortcut, prepackaged, precooked, frozen foods that we can find. It is true that I always worked, always took care of others, never had much time to think about meals, and never learned to cook at my mother's side. But
I am ashamed to say that for us eating has always been the shorter, the quicker, the better.
It is fascinating to read how Marlena and Fernando manage to make friends with the cooks, the farmers, the food providers that lead them to learn all about the local cuisines. In Italy they cook what is fresh THAT DAY. Marlena learns to shop at the local farmers' markets, becomes acquainted with the sellers, learns their secrets of cooking. She helps to gather wild herbs, mushrooms. She learns how and helps with the olive harvest. She witnesses the pressing of the oil. She learns how and helps with the grape harvest, and learns about wine making.
In Tuscany they become very close friends with the local villagers - especially Barlozzo and Floriana. He helps them constuct an outdoor baking oven, and an outdoor fire pit and grill. They initiate Friday night village suppers at the local bar, where all the villagers share a supper dish. In all their cooking in Italy every one eats what is ripe and harvested that day. They hunt or raise their own animals for meat. They rely on fresh herbs, wild onions, wild garlic, and lots of olive oil for their flavors. They make their own cheese, and bake their own bread.
It all sounds delightfully delicious.
One farmer at the market tells her that "The earth is rich so we don't have to be."
If you have enough to eat for today, you are rich. If there is some left for tomorrow you may have too many riches." Another tells her, "The less there is, the more important it all becomes." They feel rich having just enough of life's necessities to get them through each day.
I think that our American culture may have it all wrong. Our dependence on industry, labor, high salaries, government care, and all the need for immediate gratification has led us to live lives that are truly less rich. At the same time I am reading these rich books, I also run across the "Amish Cook" column that appears regularly in our local newspaper. The Amish wife and mother who writes the column tells about how the whole family helps raise the food on their farm. She tells how they are all involved in the canning and preserving, the daily washing of clothes, and hanging them outdoors to dry. She talks about how their farms are self-sustaining. I think maybe the Amish have it right, after all.
Monday, October 18, 2010
R3 - Rain - Or What Is That Falling From the Sky?
When Don picked me up this afternoon from the hospital, he said, " I see something
falling from the sky. I don't know what it is. It feels sort of wet."
Very funny, Don. I don't think it has been THAT long since you've seen rain! That is what rain looks like, isn't it?
We did get a pretty good soaking. I don't think things are going to turn green, though. Foilage is very colorful and falling, falling, falling. After the rain the temperature seemed to be falling, falling, falling also. I actually found the winter robe to put on this evening and I'm wearing socks with my slippers. That is a sure sign that the seasons are changing - much more predictable and dependable than the leaves.
This AM we had a treat. When Taylor is through with school for the day, he sometimes comes to find Grandma and Grandpa because we are an easy touch where lunch is concerned. Also Grandpa had earlier taken Taylor an extra set of truck keys, because he had locked his in his truck in the school parking lot. Obviously, school just starts too early in the morning for this boy. No keys ---- no breakfast--no fun.
We three went to Frisch's for lunch. Well, Don and I had lunch. Frisch's makes THE BEST vegetable soup ever. It was unusually thick and chocked full of veggies today.
mmmmm- it hit the spot. Taylor opted for the breakfast bar since he had skipped that meal altogether earlier in the day. He barely stopped to breathe until he had cleaned the first plateful. He topped that off with the best looking French toast.
Then he was off to work off the calories at his job on the farm.
I went to work at the information desk at the hospital in the afternoon. Elaine and I were both working, so we were able to catch up on all the news and weekend happenings. Mark, her son the policeman, has gone back to work as a drug prevention officer with the public schools. They have allowed him to write his own program since the schools are no longer affiliated with the DARE program. Mark was a great officer/counselor/teacher with the DARE program for several years before the program was discontinued. I know he will do a super job, even better with his own program.
And the schools really need his presence. I wish him all the best.
Don went out for Sex in the City. Hmm---maybe I had better rephrase that. He went to the casino and played the slot machine called, "Sex in the City." Yes, it features Carrie and all the girls on the TV show, and Mr. Big, too. It is fun to play, and has very interesting bonuses. It either gives you lots of bonuses and very nice prizes, or takes your money away very quickly. Don reports that the Sex was very good today. Hmmm - maybe I had better rephrase that!
falling from the sky. I don't know what it is. It feels sort of wet."
Very funny, Don. I don't think it has been THAT long since you've seen rain! That is what rain looks like, isn't it?
We did get a pretty good soaking. I don't think things are going to turn green, though. Foilage is very colorful and falling, falling, falling. After the rain the temperature seemed to be falling, falling, falling also. I actually found the winter robe to put on this evening and I'm wearing socks with my slippers. That is a sure sign that the seasons are changing - much more predictable and dependable than the leaves.
This AM we had a treat. When Taylor is through with school for the day, he sometimes comes to find Grandma and Grandpa because we are an easy touch where lunch is concerned. Also Grandpa had earlier taken Taylor an extra set of truck keys, because he had locked his in his truck in the school parking lot. Obviously, school just starts too early in the morning for this boy. No keys ---- no breakfast--no fun.
We three went to Frisch's for lunch. Well, Don and I had lunch. Frisch's makes THE BEST vegetable soup ever. It was unusually thick and chocked full of veggies today.
mmmmm- it hit the spot. Taylor opted for the breakfast bar since he had skipped that meal altogether earlier in the day. He barely stopped to breathe until he had cleaned the first plateful. He topped that off with the best looking French toast.
Then he was off to work off the calories at his job on the farm.
I went to work at the information desk at the hospital in the afternoon. Elaine and I were both working, so we were able to catch up on all the news and weekend happenings. Mark, her son the policeman, has gone back to work as a drug prevention officer with the public schools. They have allowed him to write his own program since the schools are no longer affiliated with the DARE program. Mark was a great officer/counselor/teacher with the DARE program for several years before the program was discontinued. I know he will do a super job, even better with his own program.
And the schools really need his presence. I wish him all the best.
Don went out for Sex in the City. Hmm---maybe I had better rephrase that. He went to the casino and played the slot machine called, "Sex in the City." Yes, it features Carrie and all the girls on the TV show, and Mr. Big, too. It is fun to play, and has very interesting bonuses. It either gives you lots of bonuses and very nice prizes, or takes your money away very quickly. Don reports that the Sex was very good today. Hmmm - maybe I had better rephrase that!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Q3 - Quiet Day
After a week filled with troubling events, tiring moments, and emotional ups and downs, Don and I found ourselves thoroughly worn out and ready for some peace and quiet. And that is exactly how we filled our day.
We did set the house in order, but did it at a slow and tranquil pace. And there is something quite healing in setting your environment back into order. We worked a little, sat a little, worked a little, had some coffee or such, worked a bit, napped a bit or a lot (Don - a lot, myself - just a couple of short dozes.) The only break in this routine was to shower and run up to see Clyde at the hospital. He was fine, and will be returning to Rawlins House tomorrow, so he must be healing. We took him some Kit Kat bars and a couple of Reeses bars. He promptly ate one of each. It was sort of a reverse trick or treat, where the scary visitors furnish the treats!
After feeding Clyde the chocolate, we fed some noisy machines some pennies. And yes, they happily took our money and gave us back nothing! Then it was time to feed ourselves. We had had the rest of the ham sandwiches last evening and for lunch, so we needed a change. We opted for Italian food - the fast kind at Fazolis. Actually it tasted quite good.
This evening I did some mending, some laundry, and watched the Colts barely escape from Washington with a W in the win column. Whew! They had a tough time. But with a little help from the clock, they pulled it out.
I hope this coming week will be happily uneventful.
We did set the house in order, but did it at a slow and tranquil pace. And there is something quite healing in setting your environment back into order. We worked a little, sat a little, worked a little, had some coffee or such, worked a bit, napped a bit or a lot (Don - a lot, myself - just a couple of short dozes.) The only break in this routine was to shower and run up to see Clyde at the hospital. He was fine, and will be returning to Rawlins House tomorrow, so he must be healing. We took him some Kit Kat bars and a couple of Reeses bars. He promptly ate one of each. It was sort of a reverse trick or treat, where the scary visitors furnish the treats!
After feeding Clyde the chocolate, we fed some noisy machines some pennies. And yes, they happily took our money and gave us back nothing! Then it was time to feed ourselves. We had had the rest of the ham sandwiches last evening and for lunch, so we needed a change. We opted for Italian food - the fast kind at Fazolis. Actually it tasted quite good.
This evening I did some mending, some laundry, and watched the Colts barely escape from Washington with a W in the win column. Whew! They had a tough time. But with a little help from the clock, they pulled it out.
I hope this coming week will be happily uneventful.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
My Brother David
Yesterday I lost my first childhood buddy, brother David. David passed away last evening. He had spent the last 2 or 3 years in an alzheimers unit in Muncie. Even with alzheimers he never lost his sense of humor or his ability to appreciate even the smallest kindnesses offered him. These things and his beautiful children were his greatest gifts to the world.
David was the youngest of my four older brothers. I was, of course, the youngest in the family, and the only girl. Being the closest in age, David and I were good buddies growing up. There is a picture somewhere that I can't find. It shows Dave and I on our tricycles, brown as berries from fun days in the sun. He is 5 and I am 3. He is supposed to be in kindergarten. Our parent sent him every day, and about an hour or so later went to fetch him home because he was "sick". They finally gave up and let him skip kindergarten so that we could continue our carefree, fun days.
The next year the state of Indiana required his presence in first grade, and I experienced my first taste of real loneliness. I missed my buddy! As we grew up we had great fun listening to "The Shadow" and "Fibber McGee and Molly", "Jack Armstrong" on the radio. We made fudge and cookies. Once when Mother and Daddy were gone for the evening, we got out all the best china and crystal and set the table and pretended to have a fancy dinner party. Our dad taught vocal lessons. We had heat registers that were just grates in the ceiling that allowed the heat to go upstairs. David and I would lie on the floor and watch the vocal lessons, and giggle at the student's mistakes.
When I was a senior in high school, my prom date (who also happens to be my husband)
was hit in the eye with a baseball the night before the prom. Don was in the hospital prom night, and my handsome brother, David, pitched in as my prom date. I think he was the only graduate of Anderson High School who ever attended three high school proms.
Of course, we did grow up and our lives of raising families and earning livings did not allow us much time to be together. These were such busy years. So that when we were all retired it was nice to have some time to becomes buddies again. Clyde and Dave had their weekly lunch dates at Storeys in Chesterfield. Sometimes I joined them, but couldn't keep up with their banter. Once Dave and Rosalyn, Janie and Clyde, and Don and I spent a hilarious afternoon making applesauce. Clyde and Dave had bought an apple peeler, and they made the applesauce --- so funny, but it was good.
Once, when Rosalyn was working we picked up Dave and we all went to Bear Creek Farms for dinner and the show. When we picked him up, he had been all ready and waiting for an hour on the porch (maybe one of the first indicators of his Alzheimers that we observed). But no one ever enjoyed a dinner and show at Bear Creek any more than did David. And I think that that enthusiasm and appreciation for the small things was the gift that David gave to Don and I over and over these last few years.
We truly liked visiting him at the nursing home. And few people ever say that. You could tell that he loved for us to be there. And, even though you know that he was often confused and bewildered, often in pain, he never, ever complained.
"How are you feeling, Dave?"
"I feel fine."
"Are you sleeping well?"
"I sleep great."
And he always loved the coffee we brought, and, oh yes, he loved the honey buns to eat. The Honey Bun company is going to experience a huge drop in sales now that David is no longer here. And the few times we were able to take him out to breakfast at a restaurant, he loved it! Once we took him some handkerchiefs and new socks. He said, "I feel like a rich man!" What a gift that was for us. I just have to thank the Lord for the blessing of this time we were able to have with my buddy.
The last words I was blessed to be able to say to my buddy were, "I love you."
And the last words that I was so blessed to hear from him were, "I love you, too."
My sweet brother and his beautiful children have taught me to never part from a loved one without saying those words.
David was the youngest of my four older brothers. I was, of course, the youngest in the family, and the only girl. Being the closest in age, David and I were good buddies growing up. There is a picture somewhere that I can't find. It shows Dave and I on our tricycles, brown as berries from fun days in the sun. He is 5 and I am 3. He is supposed to be in kindergarten. Our parent sent him every day, and about an hour or so later went to fetch him home because he was "sick". They finally gave up and let him skip kindergarten so that we could continue our carefree, fun days.
The next year the state of Indiana required his presence in first grade, and I experienced my first taste of real loneliness. I missed my buddy! As we grew up we had great fun listening to "The Shadow" and "Fibber McGee and Molly", "Jack Armstrong" on the radio. We made fudge and cookies. Once when Mother and Daddy were gone for the evening, we got out all the best china and crystal and set the table and pretended to have a fancy dinner party. Our dad taught vocal lessons. We had heat registers that were just grates in the ceiling that allowed the heat to go upstairs. David and I would lie on the floor and watch the vocal lessons, and giggle at the student's mistakes.
When I was a senior in high school, my prom date (who also happens to be my husband)
was hit in the eye with a baseball the night before the prom. Don was in the hospital prom night, and my handsome brother, David, pitched in as my prom date. I think he was the only graduate of Anderson High School who ever attended three high school proms.
Of course, we did grow up and our lives of raising families and earning livings did not allow us much time to be together. These were such busy years. So that when we were all retired it was nice to have some time to becomes buddies again. Clyde and Dave had their weekly lunch dates at Storeys in Chesterfield. Sometimes I joined them, but couldn't keep up with their banter. Once Dave and Rosalyn, Janie and Clyde, and Don and I spent a hilarious afternoon making applesauce. Clyde and Dave had bought an apple peeler, and they made the applesauce --- so funny, but it was good.
Once, when Rosalyn was working we picked up Dave and we all went to Bear Creek Farms for dinner and the show. When we picked him up, he had been all ready and waiting for an hour on the porch (maybe one of the first indicators of his Alzheimers that we observed). But no one ever enjoyed a dinner and show at Bear Creek any more than did David. And I think that that enthusiasm and appreciation for the small things was the gift that David gave to Don and I over and over these last few years.
We truly liked visiting him at the nursing home. And few people ever say that. You could tell that he loved for us to be there. And, even though you know that he was often confused and bewildered, often in pain, he never, ever complained.
"How are you feeling, Dave?"
"I feel fine."
"Are you sleeping well?"
"I sleep great."
And he always loved the coffee we brought, and, oh yes, he loved the honey buns to eat. The Honey Bun company is going to experience a huge drop in sales now that David is no longer here. And the few times we were able to take him out to breakfast at a restaurant, he loved it! Once we took him some handkerchiefs and new socks. He said, "I feel like a rich man!" What a gift that was for us. I just have to thank the Lord for the blessing of this time we were able to have with my buddy.
The last words I was blessed to be able to say to my buddy were, "I love you."
And the last words that I was so blessed to hear from him were, "I love you, too."
My sweet brother and his beautiful children have taught me to never part from a loved one without saying those words.
Monday, October 11, 2010
P3 - Phyllis is Tired
I worked all day today at the hospital. I usually work just four hours on a Monday afternoon. However, my working buddies who share Mondays were both going to be absent today, so I worked both morning and afternoon. Also, Clyde was having his hip surgery today, so I could see him before they sent him off to surgery, and I could be there to keep Janie company.
Janie went home for part of the day, coming back in time to talk with Dr. Schick when the surgery was over. I guess it went well, but they are going to do some more testing because his bones are so soft. I guess that explains why he has had these breaks.
Then Janie sat in the information office with me through much of the afternoon. It was nice to have her company. It did make the day pass quickly. We have so many interesting questions and interesting people who pass by. Every week brings some new question that I have never had before, and I have worked there since 1996. But the employees are very nice about my calling around and finding answers. It is very important to have someone there to answer questions. People are often just lost when they arrive at the hospital. It is rewarding to know that I have been helpful.
The recovery room had trouble getting Clyde's blood pressure up. I guess it was quite low. So they sent him to ICU for the night tonight. There he will be constantly monitored. I am sure he will be able to go up to Bennett rehab tomorrow where all joint replacement patients go. I hope all goes well with his recovery.
Tomorrow Don and I bake and deliver cookies for those volunteers who are working to
clean up and fix up sites in Anderson. It is a community clean up effort sponsored by Madison Park Church after Pastor Lyons preached a series of sermons called "Do
Something." I sincerely believe in such grass roots efforts. Instead of complaining, perhaps it would be better if we try to do something. Don and I cannot do a lot of the heavy labor. (Actually, he can, but I can't.) So we volunteered to bake and deliver treats to the working teams. They have graciously made it possible for folks of all ability levels to participate in some way. More about this in a later blog.
Janie went home for part of the day, coming back in time to talk with Dr. Schick when the surgery was over. I guess it went well, but they are going to do some more testing because his bones are so soft. I guess that explains why he has had these breaks.
Then Janie sat in the information office with me through much of the afternoon. It was nice to have her company. It did make the day pass quickly. We have so many interesting questions and interesting people who pass by. Every week brings some new question that I have never had before, and I have worked there since 1996. But the employees are very nice about my calling around and finding answers. It is very important to have someone there to answer questions. People are often just lost when they arrive at the hospital. It is rewarding to know that I have been helpful.
The recovery room had trouble getting Clyde's blood pressure up. I guess it was quite low. So they sent him to ICU for the night tonight. There he will be constantly monitored. I am sure he will be able to go up to Bennett rehab tomorrow where all joint replacement patients go. I hope all goes well with his recovery.
Tomorrow Don and I bake and deliver cookies for those volunteers who are working to
clean up and fix up sites in Anderson. It is a community clean up effort sponsored by Madison Park Church after Pastor Lyons preached a series of sermons called "Do
Something." I sincerely believe in such grass roots efforts. Instead of complaining, perhaps it would be better if we try to do something. Don and I cannot do a lot of the heavy labor. (Actually, he can, but I can't.) So we volunteered to bake and deliver treats to the working teams. They have graciously made it possible for folks of all ability levels to participate in some way. More about this in a later blog.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
O3 - Oh My Gosh!
I can't believe how long it has been since I wrote on this blog site. It is so typical of all the efforts I have made in life. I start out with a zeal, and then
all my enthusiasm just dwindles away. Oh well, it is MY blog, so I can do it MY way.
I have just been having too much fun enjoying my office/craft room. That, and the fact that I have been teaching a craft at our monthly library sales. The crafts started as an effort to sell all the magazines that had been donated for the sales.
We were simply being buried in magazines. So I put "Crafts made from magazines" in Google search and discovered many things that could be made from your old magazines.
Last month I taught anyone interested how to make paper beads. Sarah and I got so
inspired that we have both been making beads at home. She is making necklaces for gifts, and I have just been playing around and experimenting. I give them away as fast as I make them. But it is fun!
Before that I found a craft book at the bookstore in Bloomington. It had directions for the nicest bookmarks made from cloth with magnets inside and trimmed with a decorative button. These, too, were claimed by others as fast as I could make them.
But, isn't it nice to be able to send guest home with a little memento- a useful reminder of our happy visit.
This month I taught many customers at the sale to make Christmas trees from magazines by folding the pages. Of course, prior to the sale I practiced by making
five or six of the trees and painting and glittering them in different colors for samples. That's a lot of folding, let me tell you. But everyone seems to like them and like to learn to make them. I think several Library Friends are planning to come to the house in a couple of weeks and make some of the trees to sell at our
Friends of the Library Christmas sale.
We have also been dealing with family health and nursing home issues. Mother has been moved to a new room twice, so we have been busy trying to help her adjust, so that the moves are not so traumatic. David experienced a bad fall leaving him with
a terrible hematoma on his right temple , two very black eyes, and a total lack of
responsiveness to his surroundings. He did finally say one word, "okay" to Don yesterday.
And then brother Clyde's broken and pinned hip did not heal properly. And Jane found it impossible to give him the home care that he needed. So last Tuesday we helped Jane get him to the Dr. and then to Rawlins House nursing home. He has been there all this week, and is doing well. Tomorrow morning Dr. Schick (my hip doctor) is going to give Clyde a total hip replacement just like I had. I am sure he will be at the hospital for a while and then will return to Rawlins House for his rehabilitation. I look for him to be there for at least the three months that medicare will allow. At least I hope that he can.
All these issues have been a big worry to us, and also make me very sad. But Don and I try to do all we can to help these situations, and then try to see all the beauty and joy that the rest of the days can bring. We are getting to the age where we realize that we may need help sooner that we want to think about. So, by golly, we plan to enjoy each day as much as we can!
all my enthusiasm just dwindles away. Oh well, it is MY blog, so I can do it MY way.
I have just been having too much fun enjoying my office/craft room. That, and the fact that I have been teaching a craft at our monthly library sales. The crafts started as an effort to sell all the magazines that had been donated for the sales.
We were simply being buried in magazines. So I put "Crafts made from magazines" in Google search and discovered many things that could be made from your old magazines.
Last month I taught anyone interested how to make paper beads. Sarah and I got so
inspired that we have both been making beads at home. She is making necklaces for gifts, and I have just been playing around and experimenting. I give them away as fast as I make them. But it is fun!
Before that I found a craft book at the bookstore in Bloomington. It had directions for the nicest bookmarks made from cloth with magnets inside and trimmed with a decorative button. These, too, were claimed by others as fast as I could make them.
But, isn't it nice to be able to send guest home with a little memento- a useful reminder of our happy visit.
This month I taught many customers at the sale to make Christmas trees from magazines by folding the pages. Of course, prior to the sale I practiced by making
five or six of the trees and painting and glittering them in different colors for samples. That's a lot of folding, let me tell you. But everyone seems to like them and like to learn to make them. I think several Library Friends are planning to come to the house in a couple of weeks and make some of the trees to sell at our
Friends of the Library Christmas sale.
We have also been dealing with family health and nursing home issues. Mother has been moved to a new room twice, so we have been busy trying to help her adjust, so that the moves are not so traumatic. David experienced a bad fall leaving him with
a terrible hematoma on his right temple , two very black eyes, and a total lack of
responsiveness to his surroundings. He did finally say one word, "okay" to Don yesterday.
And then brother Clyde's broken and pinned hip did not heal properly. And Jane found it impossible to give him the home care that he needed. So last Tuesday we helped Jane get him to the Dr. and then to Rawlins House nursing home. He has been there all this week, and is doing well. Tomorrow morning Dr. Schick (my hip doctor) is going to give Clyde a total hip replacement just like I had. I am sure he will be at the hospital for a while and then will return to Rawlins House for his rehabilitation. I look for him to be there for at least the three months that medicare will allow. At least I hope that he can.
All these issues have been a big worry to us, and also make me very sad. But Don and I try to do all we can to help these situations, and then try to see all the beauty and joy that the rest of the days can bring. We are getting to the age where we realize that we may need help sooner that we want to think about. So, by golly, we plan to enjoy each day as much as we can!
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