Each day this week I have received a great blessing. And the great blessing has come each day from a different good friend. What makes a friend a good friend? Many people have tried to explain, to capture the essence of friendship. And I think for each person the answers may be peculiarly personal. Your own personal needs may dictate how you interpret friendship. I have one author, whose works I really respect, Barbara Kingsolver. She certainly has a way with words. Yesterday the cryptoquote puzzle in the paper quoted Barbara. She wrote:
"The friend who holds your hand and says the wrong thing, is made of dearer stuff than the one who stays away." And who among us hasn't stayed away for fear of doing or saying the wrong thing?
But it has been my habit since writing this blog, to stop each evening and reflect on the blessings of the day. If for no other reason, this blog has been a treasure. And every evening this week, I was particularly thankful for a special friend who stood by my side that day. These are friends of such long standing, that our friendships have outlasted many wrong words and many misunderstanding, and disagreements. But we've always been THERE for one another.
On Monday I worked, as usual. at the hospital with Elaine. We have been friends since high school days. She was new to Anderson, and we sat beside one another in some class. I think we just knew when we started talking that we could be good friends. The neatest part of our relationship is that she married Bob, and I married Don. And Don is Bob's nephew. So we get to be relatives as well as friends. Our husbands, both having a lot of the Brizendine traits in them, are a lot alike. And it seems our children share many traits. I love her kids and grandkids, and she loves mine. Neither of us had a sister, only brothers. So the special gift that she gives to me, is not only being the sister I didn't have, but understanding the quirkiness of my family.
On Tuesday I ate lunch with Heather. Heather had a family of husband and four sons. She
lost her husband when he suffered a heart attack at too young an age. Then over the last few years, she has lost two of her sons. The gift that Heather gives is showing how to live on with grace, and how to enjoy life after tragedy. She worked as a school secretary, she traveled with a group of women friends, she learned how to SHOP. Then she had the good fortune of meeting a really good man, and having a happy second marriage.
Also at lunch on Tuesday was Susie. Susie's special gift is serving others. She raised a large family, taught FIRST GRADE for gosh sakes, and now, in retirement, works on many special boards, church activities, and helping her kids and grandkids. If you have a really hard office to fill in an organization, or a really hard job you want done, call Susie. She will not only get it done, but she will still be smiling when it is all over. AND, she always answers the phone with a smile in her voice.
Today, I was with Ginny. Ginny is fiery, fast moving, full of energy, and lots of fun. Now, she isn't shy about speaking her piece. If you don't want an honest opinion, don't ask her for one.
And often she lives to back down, and take back what she said in haste. But Ginny's gift is showing how to do a good deed, help others, and never, ever embarrass them with the effort.
If someone is sick, she is there with food, and insists that she made no special effort doing it.
She shows up with flowers, or a loaf of bread, or some token that shows she cares. Today she surprised me by taking me to a funny little new Deli for lunch. It is in a teeny, tiny building located right by a railroad track. It is painted the brightest yellow and red on the outside. I thought, "Oh, no, what am I getting into?" But it is a new little business being started by a young family in her church. They were all there: Dad making the sandwiches, Mom, a latino with little English, helping him. The oldest boy taking the money. And the two little ones were just being charming. They were so sweet, and we had a wonderful time. Oh, and the sandwiches were delicious. We are definitely going back. Oh, I hope this little family experiences great success with their little business. But leave it to Ginny to give me the gift of how to best help others.
Then Ginny and I visited Barbara, my dear friend and fellow Friends of the Library worker.
Barbara's special gift right now (she has many others) is showing us all how to die with grace.
She has lung cancer, is unable to get out, is unable to get dressed any more, and must have round the clock assistance. But she always welcomes us, appears pretty happy, is so accepting of her situation, and makes our visits so easy. Barbara has always been a classy lady, not wonder she is ending her life in a classy way.
Tomorrow I will be with two nieces: Brenda and Liz. I count these sweet girls as good friends, also. But I shall save more about them and other good friends for another day.
No comments:
Post a Comment