J2 The Journey

It has been a tough few days at our house. Mother has been with us for three years now, and for the most part, we have gotten along very well. But with her dementia, she has been showing a pretty dramatic decline in the last few weeks. She has been experiencing what they call "sundowners syndrome" or an anxious time in the evenings. And she has been having considerable back pain, leg pain, stiffness, and more difficulty in walking. She has even fallen when getting up at night a couple of times.

For these reasons we took her for a check up with her doctor. He ordered some tests, took other tests in his office, and prescribed Aricept, to lessen the progression of her dementia. Over the weekend we gave her the Aricept, but she became very ill after taking it. So Saturday and Sunday she felt terrible the entire two days. After calling her doctor yesterday morning , we quit the medication. Now she has always been quite contented here, never offers to go outside other than sitting on the screened in porch. We have been able to leave her safely for maybe an hour here and there.

Well, yesterday while I was working at the hospital in the afternoon. Mother got up from her nap and simply walked out the door. Don came in and couldn't find her anywhere. He checked with all the neighbors, drove the neighborhood, and became quite afraid. He called me at the hospital. I work with Elaine, whose son is a policeman. She called Mark, and 4 or 5 policeman came out and joined the search. Elaine brought me right home. By the time we got there, Don had had a phone message that Mother was at the Emergency Room. So we took off immediately to get her.

It seems that Mother had walked nearly a mile from our house to 38th Street. She had decided in her mind that she would go to the beauty shop which is about 3 city blocks on down 38th from our neighborhood. Mother walked along the edge of 38th, where a tiny sidewalk is edged immediately on the busy street. She fell and some folks in a nearby house saw her, and ran to her rescue. They called the emergency vehicle, that took her to St. Johns. Now, Mother usually cannot tell you her own name. But the emergency folks finally got her first name Madge from her. They looked for all the Madges in their computer system, read off the names to her, and she finally heard one that sounded right to her. Then they got our number, her emergency number.

Well, it was a most frightening experience for us. When we think of all the possible tragic outcomes that could have happened. We are very thankful that she is home and safe. It has certainly made us aware that we are entering a new level of care and responsibility. The doctors and the social workers, friends, and our children, too, are thinking we should be considering other care options. That is a tough one. I know. I already have done that once with my mother.
We cared for her at our home for about the same number of years, until it became physically impossible for any of us to care for her. And we were thirty years younger then. But it was a heart breaking experience.

I hope that anyone reading this will pray for us or just keep us in your thoughts. We want to make the right decisions.